Објавено на 24.02.2019 во 13:52:15 часот | Здравје

Negative People as Energy Vampires

I like to refer to negative people as energy vampires. Two reasons why

  1. Like vampires, negative people are incapable of generating positive energy. Hence they feed off the energy of others.
  2. Vampires convert living beings into their kind because they feel lonely living in solitude. Similarly, negative people tend to drag people down into negativity too. After all, misery loves company.

1. Ground Yourself

The first important step when facing energy vampires is to ground yourself. This means centering yourself such that you do not get easily affected or swayed by negative energies around you. Otherwise you can easily get sucked into the energy vampire’s vortex, no different from being sucked into a quick sand. You need to be properly grounded before you interact with an energy vampire.

To ground yourself, first imagine the essence of your soul amassing in the center of your body. Next, imagine this essence spreading throughout your body, to the point where it’s extending out through your feet, deep into the ground, in the form of thick, sturdy roots. The roots are extremely strong and they are anchoring you into the ground such that nothing can sway you. Think of yourself as a big and strong oak tree that’s firmly rooted in the ground.

2. Shield Yourself

The next step is to shield yourself. This is your second layer of protection, after grounding. A shield is like a bubble around you that separates you from the world; it’s an energy barrier which keeps out undesirable energy from entering your space. Like a real shield, your shield is a defense tool which protects you from aggressors or bad energy. It also helps to keep your (positive) energy in and prevents it from being sucked by a vampire. Read: How to Make a Energy Shield.

A shield is not permanent. The energy of the shield wears off over time, which decreases its protective ability. In the face of an energy vampire leeching your energy, the shield’s strength can deplete quickly. The more negative the vampire, the weaker the shield becomes. When your shield becomes fully depleted, it will cease to function. To avoid that from happening, re-enforce your shield once every few hours by repeating the energy shield exercise.

3. Hang Out in Groups of Three or More

It’s tricky to deal with an energy vampire on a one to one basis because all his/her negativity gets directed at you. On the other hand, if you are in a group of three or more, the vampire’s attention becomes divided between you and the other people. This way, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the person’s pessimism.

Another plus point of hanging out in a group is that I get to observe and learn from how others deal with the vampire, which then gives me ideas on how to handle him/her. Since everyone has different way of thinking and handling people, I always learn something new from everyone.

4. Provide a Listening Ear

People are usually negative because of negative incidents that happened to them in the past — bad childhood stories. Sometimes their venting comes from repressing their grievances. Rather than disregard their viewpoints, provide a listening ear. Sometimes what people need aren’t solutions, but just someone to listen to and empathize with them. By letting them air their thoughts, it may help them to realize what they should do.

5. Extend A Helping Hand

Is there anything you can help them with? Sometimes people complain as a way of crying for help. See if there’s anything you can do to support them. Ask them, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”. They may not show it, but deep down they’ll appreciate your emotional generosity.

6. Stick to Light Topics

Some energy vampires are triggered by certain topics. For example, a friend of mine sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

In the ideal world we want to help lift the person out of his/her negativity. But in cases where the negativity is too deeply rooted to tackle in a one-off conversation, or where the person has very staunch views on that topic, it may be better to let go and switch to a different topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like the latest movies, daily occurrences, common friends, and news stories make for light conversation. Keep the conversation to things that uplifts the person.

7. Reduce Contact

If none of the above works, the next step will be to reduce contact. Limit your contact as much as you can. If it’s a teammate whom you work with, then limit the communication to just work-related issues. If the energy vampire is a friend, then try to hang out with him/her less; if you have to, then hang out in groups of three or more (see Tip #3.)

8. Cut Them Away From Your Life

I’d like to share a quote by John Assaraf:

“I just do not hang around anybody that I don’t want to be with. Period. For me, that’s been a blessing, and I can stay positive. I hang around people who are happy, who are growing, who want to learn, who don’t mind saying sorry or thank you… and [are] having a fun time.”

When all else fails, the last step is to cut them away. Here are 12 signs it’s time to move on from a relationship (while this article is written in the context of romantic relationships, they also apply for friendships/other relationships), and another one on Why I Parted Ways With My Best Friend of 10 Years.

While cutting the person (especially if he/she is a friend) may seem drastic, bear in mind that not everyone is going to be compatible with you in your life journey, and it’s up to you to decide who you want to be with. Ultimately, you are the average of the five people you are with. By spending precious time around energy vampires, you’ll naturally become negative too, which I’m sure isn’t what you want.



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